Me: It’s not every day that I get to talk someone who knows what it’s like to be a Viking. Someone who didn’t study it, but actually lived it. Well today, I have with me a very special guest, Stian, from the new book Worthy of Song and Story.
I know you have limited time with the book just coming out, but is there anything you want to tell our audience? Anything really important they should know?
Stian: Yes, Odin and Thor are liars.
Me: *jumps back in my chair and looks around for a lightning bolt* What?
Stian: Oh yeah, they lie a lot.
Me: How so?
Stian: Look at how they blame the end of the world on Loki. Like they had nothing to do with it. The way I saw it, most of it was their fault. Yeah, I know the world being destroyed but still here is a little confusing, but I promise I’ll cover that in one of my later adventures. Anyway, trust me, it’s gone and it’s their fault.
Me: *scratches my head* Okay, that’s a little too complex for me. Let’s keep it simple and focus on the supposed lies of Odin and Thor. What else can you tell me?
Stian: You know how Thor walks around and says he’s the only one who can lift his hammer, right? I’ll let you in on a little secret, he can’t lift it without his special belt which gives him extra strength. I bet if I had his belt, I could lift it. Not like I would want to though. I don’t think Thor ever washes his hands, so the handle is probably pretty gross.
Me: Remind me to never shake his hands. Anything else?
Stian: This one is my favorite. I’m not sure how they did it, but the Aesir somehow convinced people that they were immortal. What a joke. I mean one of them was killed by mistletoe. What kind of immortal can be killed by a plant? Not even the whole plant, just a little branch of it. Don’t get me wrong, they’re still tough, but immortal? What a complete joke.
Me: You’re right, that doesn’t sound like immortal to me, but maybe gods have a different view of immortality. It’s not like I’m going to tell them they’re wrong.
Stian: Don’t worry, I will. Just like I say this whole Loki and Thor are brothers thing is a lie. It was made up by Odin to make Loki look worse. Sure, Loki and Thor were friends, but brothers, no way. Loki didn’t set foot in Asgard until he was an adult.
Me: Wow, that’s quite a lot to take in. So, before we get killed *looks around to make sure there aren’t any large men with weapons* I think we should call it a day. Thank you Stian for setting the record straight. And if anyone in our audience has a question for Stian, please ask and I will get it answered for you.